Monday, July 7, 2014

The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution

The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution
Another script likely rewritten from the past. I recall playing with the words 'concave' and 'convex' at an earlier date. My original post of 'The Don't Steal Show' had around fifty shows and each show featured two commercials. That's why I'm still spitting out old commercials. But I'll eventually catch up with the past here, just like I did with my music on YouTube (more or less).

(A woman in a t-shirt is bitten on the arm by a strange man on the bus.)

Woman: Ow!

Man: Delicious! (The woman punches him.) Why did you do that? I was just accepting your invitation.

Woman: What invitation?

Man: Your t-shirt says 'Bite for Pleasure'.

Woman: It says 'Built for Pleasure'! Can't you read?

Man: Oh, sorry! The spelling was distorted by your -uh- figure.

Feminine Voice: Are your t-shirt slogans getting smothered by your bulging breasts? You can alter it for a custom fit with CCSS: the Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution. Easy to use, just tell CCSS your height, measurements, and t-shirt slogan or design to produce an iron-on patch with spatial adjustments guaranteed to keep words legible on the bumpiest surfaces.

(The woman sits on the bus the next day, facing the aisle. Her t-shirt slogan reads 'BORED STIFF' but the optical illusion that straightens its block letters over her figure makes her appear flat chested. Across the aisle are two snickering men.)

Woman: What's so funny?

Man: You misspelled 'board'. (His friend bursts out laughing as she looks down at her slogan.)

Voice: Express yourself clearly with the Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution.
  
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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