Family Feudalism

Host: Welcome to Family Feudalism. Today a family of farmers joins us from the country. Would you kindly welcome the Farmer family? And from the town, a family of gardeners returns as our repeat champions. Let's have a round of applause for the Gardener family. Behind me are the five most popular answers to a question added to our last royal census. The first family to leave the board with all five answers showing wins the round. If peals the bells play, you're well on your way, but if its tolls number three, it tolls for thee. We shall decide who goes first by a coin toss. (The Farmers win the toss and have the question put to them first.) What is the first thing to do with a newborn infant? Farmer: Throw it in the lake and see if it floats. Farmers: Good answer! (Peal. Number Two reads 'throw in lake'.) Host: Gardeners, what do you say? Gardener: Give it to the church. (Peal. Number four answer reads 'give to church'.) Host: And the Farmers stay in control by hitting the more popular answer. What is the first thing to do with a newborn infant? Farmer: Use it as a football. (Peal. Number three reads 'use as football'.) Farmer: Put its head in a vice? (Peal. Number five.) Host: Just one answer away from a clean sweep. Farmer: Give it to its mother for nursing? (Toll. Strike one.) Farmer: Wrap it in a blanket? (Toll. Strike two.) Farmer: Sing it a lullaby? (Toll. Strike three.) Host: And with that the Gardeners get a chance to steal the round if they can guess the missing answer. Gardener: Bury it in the yard? (Peal. Number one answer. Applause and cheers.) Host: Look at that! The number one answer. Good work. On to the next round. (The Farmers again win the coin toss.) Name a crime for which you may be executed. Farmer: Adultery? (Peal. Third most popular.) Gardener: Heresy? (Peal. Second most popular.) Host: The Gardeners win control. A crime for which you may be executed. Gardener: Treason? (Peal. Number five.) Gardener: Sorcery? (Peal. Number four.) Gardener: Murder? (Toll. Strike one.) Gardener: Indecent Assault? (Toll. Strike two.) Gardener: Crimes against humanity? (Toll. Strike three.) Host: Farmers, if you can guess the most popular answer on the board, you can tie the game. Farmer: Tax evasion? (Peal. Number one answer reads 'tax evasion'.) Host: And we have a tie! Isn't that exciting. (The Gardeners win the coin toss.) Name something that gives you the plague. Gardener: Adultery? (Peal. Fifth most popular.) Farmer: Education. (Peal. Number one answer.)
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.